7 ways to destroy a friendship
1. Be selfish
Saul used David whenever the evil spirit came. 1 Sam. 16:21-23
2. Be possessive
3. Cultivate jealousy
4. Let it all “explode”
5. Avoid the person who threatens and annoys you.
Do all you can to stay out of his way
6. Cultivate envy (envy versus contentment)
7. Harbour hatred in heart
Dos in friendships:
1. Pray for every friendship
Jonathan “made a covenant with David” in the presence of God.
- “Always protects” (1 Cor. 13:7)
Jonathan protects David from his father Saul. 1 Sam 20: 28-33
- “Always trusts” 1 Sam 20:1-2 Jonathan never doubt that David is innocent.
2. Surrender your friendship totally to God and allow it to grow in His time
David’s response to Jonathan’s sacrifices:
a) 1 Sam. 20:41
“bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together – but David wept the most.
Note: Intensity of their friendship
David has recognized the sacrifice that Jonathan has made for him, which is to
rebel against King Saul, his own father. Thus, David treasures such a friend.
b) 2 Sam. 1: 26 (when he learnt of Jonathan’s death at the battle)
“I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” [Hmmm .. In case u are wondering, nope, they are definitely not gays.]
Nathan and David : 2 Sam 12: 1-15 [ Godly Confrontation]
- he is the other man in David’s life
- told David of a God of forgiving love and also demonstrated that love to David
- we must be sure of our motive to approach. It is obvious that Nathan cared deeply for David
- Godly confrontation is a costly business, an unpleasant but indispensable responsibility you fulfill out of love
- Nathan knew that God had called him.
7 Principles that ought to be present in a Ministry of Restoration:
1. knowledge of the facts
2. Wise sense of timing.
A year before God sent Nathan to David. Delay is not caused by cowardice but by the recognition that we need to wait until the Holy Spirit has prepared that person’s heart to hear God’s Word.
3. careful wording:
Nathan did not condemn David. He used the story of a poor shepherd and his pet lamb because he knew this story would speak to David’s heart.
4. Holy boldness (verse 7)
“You are the man!” – did not write a letter or call on the telephone
5. Direct the sinner to God against whom he had sinned.
“ You have despised me” . David’s need was to confess his sin to God
6. A ministry of forgiveness (verse 13)
By David. Nathan responds with blessings, “ The Lord has taken away your sin; you shall not die.”
7. Affirmation of love for him
Accepted by Nathan 2 Sam 12:25
Fruit bearing branches [By me, not QF]
However, I’ve learnt since many years ago, that God, our Gardener cuts and prunes us.
John 15:1- 17
Jn 15 : 2 “He cuts off every branch in my that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
Once in a while, we need to evaluate our friendships, every individual one.
- Are these friendships bearing fruits for the
- Is my friendship with this person or that person a blessing to others?
- Has my friendship with my friend help me and her to grow closer to Jesus?
If your answers to these few questions are mostly no, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you should ask God to cut it off. Or else this friendship will draw you away from God.
Yes, the cutting and pruning process is always painful. I went through this many times. But God always fills me with his everlasting love and joy again.
Anyway, He will always bring new friends into our life. Heheh…
So, fret not.
Conclusion:
1. Pray for our friendships. Ask God to allow it to grow in His time and use this friendship to bless others and even leading them to Christ.
2. Remember, God must always be in the picture, the centre of the friendship. Never leave Him out. It will cause Danger and Red lights!!
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