Friendships

Friendships. Irregardless of our age, friendships add spice to our life. Over the years, I’ve learnt many things about friendships and yet, I can safely say, I’m not a perfect and ideal friend to many of my friends. Thus, this means I’m still learning. Hehehe…

As I read the blogs of many people, I realize it’s really crucial to make good friends coz we tend to influence each other, the good and the bad habits. Friends either make or break us.

So this blog entry is all about friendships. The content is adapted from the book, “Quality Friendship” (QF). I can’t remember the author but the book is with Cheryl Wong now. Heheeh.. This book is from our church library. I read it twice. Cheryl, if you’re reading this and still holding on to the book, quickly finish it and pass it around!! Wahahah..

I’ve shared this in FYF ten years ago. I wonder if any of my peers remember it. Heheh..

Friendships (Part One)

1. God is our best friend

He accepts us as we are. As sinners, he accepts us into his kingdom. And in His time, he graciously allows and molds us to be more like Jesus. Thus, He wants our time and our attention. It is God’s first and foremost desire for this love-relationship between God and us to grow and mature.

But He also knows and recognizes our need for friendships and human relationships. Therefore, He made/ gave us friends.

2. Friendships are God-given: Thus, it’s beautiful

“Biblical friendships are not based on mutual attraction but loving others in the name of Jesus, and with His love as our standard” (QF).

God will use this friendship to build up each other and also the people around us. Time is spent; sacrifices are made to spend time with them, ie, fellowship.

For example, the few well-known biblical friendships in the Bible are David and Jonathan, David and Nathan, Daniel and his 3 amigos, Jesus and his 3 close disciples.

Jonathan and David

1 Sam. 18:1 “ …loved him as himself”

18:3 “… Jonathan made a covenant with David”

Here, we see that Jonathan is the one who initiate the friendship, not David. He is only the receiver.

1 Sam. 18:1 “ … The soul of Jonathon was knit to the soul of David” (KJV)

18: 4 -- Jonathon lowered his status and wants to befriend David.

Ponder: As time passes, we need to evaluate again and ask ourselves, is this friendship Christ-centred?

3. Focus of every Christian friendship:

a) To lead our friend closer in his/ her walk with God --- spiritual maturity

b) To find true security and satisfaction in God, not in man

True friendship is built. Worthwhile friendship is not simply “found”.

Focus on: i) My friend is the one whose need I can meet, not the one who meets my

needs.

ii) A friend encourages his friend in God, ie, directing him back to God.

iii) A friend is someone committed to help his friend realize God’s purpose and

potential for his life.

Signs when friendship is on the rocks:

i) Affect our own relationship with God

- He may not be our first priority anymore

ii) Affect our own ministry in Church. This happens when we choose to spend more time with our friends. We “sacrifice” at the expense of God.

iii) Becomes self-centred or selfish

- makes expectations for our friend to meet and only concern about our needs being met

- forgets that a godly friendship is to reach outwards, for the good of the other person, not ourselves.

- wants our friend to have no other good friends except us.

We should remember the principle, “love is sacrifice” and “build him/ her up”. Thus, we must allow our friend to have her own circle of friends.

In the next entry, I’ll write a testimony about one of my friendships, 7 ways to destroy a friendship and David’s response to Jonathan’s sacrifices. Look out for it! Heheeh…