Struggling or Wrestling? Part 1

Hmmm...I’ve been silent again. This time, it’s figuratively, on the blog. Heheh.. Why is that so? Hmmm...I’ve been going through a dark tunnel, or a deep valley, or simply a cozy cave, waiting to hear God’s voice, waiting for His next step for me.

How time flies! 6 months! I’ve been here for 6 months. Looking back, I wonder if I’d have the courage to do it all over again. Wahahahah... I have been recollecting the scene of the day I landed at Central Airport, Nagoya. I looked around for someone who would pick me up. Then I saw this “Pastor –looking” man and an elderly lady. Since they have my photo, they started to smile at me and I thought, “Oh! They are the ones!” Whahaha... They turned out to be my pastor and his mother.

I came here not knowing anyone. Can’t even speak Japanese beyond self-introduction. Entered into a culture totally different and being part of a church that is totally different in all aspects. Wow! It’s God, I kept telling myself. I wouldn’t have done it without God leading me here.

How is my spiritual life? Let’s just say that weekend (Saturday or Sunday) services are no longer the same for me. Before, at Faith, it’s kind of getting fed at Sat services and feeding others on Sundays at Rangers, cell group on Tuesday and etc. Of coz, I have my other sources of getting fed spiritually via the internet articles and reading books.

Now, hmm...I struggle weekly to find someone to interpret for me. I do have 2 persons to do it once a month, on rotational basis. But it’s kind of stressful for the people. I feel bad too coz they may not be able to concentrate. Sometimes, no one dares to sit beside me coz they are afraid I’ll ask them for interpretation. I know it’s difficult to translate. I used to interpret in church services before, from Mandarin to English and vice versa. So difficult even for me. Now, Christian terminology is difficult. Already these Japanese friends are struggling with simple words with me. Now, to interpret sermons! Oh! Such a torture for them. But God is good and gracious to me. So far, I’ve only sat alone thrice without translation. So I read my own bible during the sermon. Haha. I am thankful and grateful constantly when friends sat down happily beside me to interpret phrases or summarise the points in a few sentences.

Next you will ask me, how’s my Japanese? Any improvement? Are you studying? I’m trying, dear friends. I bought books to self-study. At first, one friend volunteered. However, she has a baby to take care of. So it’s really difficult. I understand. Then, now, I’ve found another friend to teach me on Christian words and conversation! Finally! But this person is an extremely busy person too and can’t commit. I also understand. This morning, I cried out to God, asking Him to intervene, to help me please. Not only must I learn daily conversation, I must also learn Christian words and phrases too, all as soon as possible. If not, I can’t be effective. I feel so helpless. But I believe since God has sent me here, He’ll find a way, even when there seems to be no way. Hehehehe...

Back to spiritual life. Hahaha... If you are too busy to continue reading this endless blog, plz skip. It’s ok with me. I understand. Wahahaahah....Just don’t ask me to repeat it over msn. WAahahahah...I think, I’ve been so used to saying “I understand” when I came here that I wonder sometimes, why I am so understanding? Why can’t I be demanding or unreasonable? Wahahahah.... It’s not me, right? Wahahahaah... In my previous entries, I did mention something about worship. Yes. My current church is from a Methodist background. The actual denomination is Japanese Holiness Church. Go search the www. Hehehe. We sing hymns weekly. Recently, someone joined our church and I can sense that his arrival has changed the spiritual atmosphere of this church. His style of worship is like our Pentecostal spirit-led and spirit-filled type. I could finally worship. Thank God! The country where the songs came from no longer matter. Hillsongs can be boring after a while. Hehe. He led some good worship songs we sing in Singapore. However, to have him leading worship is like an oasis in the desert, rare and precious. Hehe. Get it? His sermons are different too. That, too, are like an oasis or diamonds. Hehehe...